2rd Grade-itis?

So I've heard of kids getting "senioritis" towards the end of their 12th grade year. Heck, I even remember that feeling of just not giving a damn about anything that happened after Christmas break that year.

But is it possible that the rowdy 8 year olds in my room have contracted a similar disease that has turned them into obnoxious, lazy (when it comes to work), hyperactive (when it comes to everything else) little creatures?!

Not only that, but it seems like a number of various illnesses have been tormenting the poor young souls of Room D-1. Yes, I will admit that colds have been going around, but is that any reason for literally 9 kids to ask to go to the nurse's office each and every day?!

Some of the recent ailments include:

• a week old bee-sting
• a papercut on the ear lobe (I didn't even ask)
• a sore jaw (I REALLY didn't ask)
• chalk dust in the eye
• a horrendously tangled knot in the hair

And is it absolutely horrible that sometimes its hard for me not to laugh at them when they approach me, eyes all big and sad, and tell me what is wrong?

• "Last night, I fell off my bunk bed and concussioned myself."
• "I think I just have to poop really hard."
• "I paralyzed my tailbone at recess."

Inappropriate Giggles

I think I've mentioned this before, but elementary school Language Arts ain't what it used to be...

I remember getting a list of spelling words drilled into my head each week and being testing on them on Fridays. Nowadays, schools are leaning more towards teaching word patterns and allowing students to use their own invented spellings. I could go on about both the pros and cons of this shift but I'd rather focus on the amusement that it has given me.


Task: List as many things as you can that would fit in the category "sour things"

Example:

Reflection: This is doubly-awful because even if they had spelled it correctly, "salt" is not a "sour thing". In actuality, salt is a "salty thing". Furthermore, as my own father pointed out when I shared this with him, sluts are usually also "salty" by nature.

Task: Draw pictures of things related to the story The School Mural around the border of your book report.

Example:



Reflection: The kids in the story contemplated making a BANNER before settling on a mural. I don't have an explanation for why she chose to make it pink.

Saved By The ...

If you know me AT ALL, you are looking at the title of this post and thinking "Bell"...

but unfortunately, this is not a Zack Morris scenario...

It is a solid fact that this job is taking its toll on me mentally and emotionally.

Why, just this afternoon I started getting all misty-eyed while finishing the last chapter of our read aloud book about a toy rabbit who keeps getting separated from the ones who love him. Luckily, right when I was about to lose it one of my more *ahem* challenging students decided to produce a ginormous armpit fart.

I never thought I would EVER be saying this but... thank you David.

What Are They Wearing?

Exhibit A:
A kindergartener asked me to help him tie his shoe on the playground this morning. Innocent enough. right? As I stood up after tying I noticed he was wearing a Budweiser hat.

Exhibit B:
A 2nd grader in another class who joins us for P.E. was wearing thick black-rimmed hipster glasses. In P.E. And I know for a fact that she does not have seeing problems.

Rated G?

Hmmmm. Which video to show to the class?

What Ever Happened to the Five Gold Rings?

On the first day of Teacher Appreciation week, my 2nd graders gave to me...
... two vases full of beautiful flowers!

On the second day of Teacher Appreciation week, my 2nd graders gave to me...
... a card from each student in the class!

On the third day of Teacher Appreciation week, my 2nd graders gave to me...
... a large basket full of fruit, candy, and other goodies!

On the fourth day of Teacher Appreciation week, my 2nd graders gave to me...
... gift cards galore!

On the fifth day of Teacher Appreciation week, my 2nd graders gave to me...
... acute tonsillitis.

Maybe We Should Rethink This No-Spelling-Lessons Idea...

Reading about the kids' Spring Breaks tonight. Some of my favorite "invented spellings":

• Chokey Cheeze
• Tameckela
• aquireyum
• pancacks with surip
• anut
• reusible instermunts that can be recacled

and the winner is (drum roll please)....

• legwigsarts

It took me about 5 minutes and a good amount of context to figure that one out.
Can you?